People describe depression as a “persisting sadness lasting more than 2 weeks”. But that’s not what I feel.

I feel this void, this emptiness. I don’t feel sad, neither do I feel happy. I want to cry all the time but I can’t seem to find the tears.

Maybe the doctor got it wrong; maybe I just forgot how happy feels.

Maybe it’s just tonight. Depression is like my old friend lurking in the shadows.

Maybe it’s just tonight I need a friend and this dread lugging at my heart feels too familiar; I embrace it.

Hey, it’s me.

13/11/2017 I wrote:
Depression is being seemingly fine and then all it hits you like a ton of bricks and suddenly you’re a crying mess on the floor not knowing what you’re crying about.

Is that it? Is this what I’m feeling tonight? I’ve cried my eyes swollen for the past 3 hours. I mean, who tf cries for 3 hours?

Oh, me.

If bouts of depression is not enough, how about you upsize your value meal with *anxiety attacks*. They leave you breathless, literally.

I’m hurt.

I’m so tired of being here.
Suppressed by all my childish fears.